Between Bruises & Blooms

Please
don’t tell me
losing you
made me stronger.

I know people
like to make
beautiful things
out of terrible endings.

They want grief
to have a purpose.

A lesson.
A reason.
Something
that makes the cruelty
easier to understand.

But I did not need
to bury a future
to learn
how deeply
I could love.

I did not need
to lose my daughter
to become
a better mother.

I would have learned
patience
while brushing your hair.

I would have learned
strength
while helping you
through your first heartbreak.

I would have learned
a thousand things
by watching you grow.

Instead,
I learned
how to breathe
through a pain
that should have
stopped my heart.

And I am tired
of people
calling that
a blessing.

You were the blessing.

You.

Not what happened
after you were gone.

Not the woman
I was forced
to become.

If there is anything
beautiful
in this story,

it is that
for three and a half hours,

I was allowed
to be your mother
with you
in the world.