child loss

  • Dear MaKenna

    My beautiful girl, It has been years,and I still wonderwho you would have become. Would your laugh sound like mine?Would you have your brothers’ kindness?Would your little sistersfollow you from room to room,wanting to be just like you? I will never know. I only had a few precious hoursto memorize your face,your tiny fingers,the weight…

    Read more →

  • For MaKenna

    There are names the wind remembers,Even when the world grows still.Some children stay in photographs,Some live beyond the hill. You were only ours for moments,Yet forever you’ll remain.Not only in our memories,But in our joy and pain. Your brothers and your sistersWill know your gentle light,Because love does not stop existingSimply because you’re out of…

    Read more →

  • Originally written on December 1, 2015. Tonight,sleep refuses to find me. The house is quiet,except for the steady rhythmof my son’s breathingas he dreamswithout knowingI’m counting the hours. I watch Emerson,safe in his bed,and gratitude fills one half of my heart. The other halfstill belongs to you. I look at your photographsand wonderhow someone so…

    Read more →

  • The Name of the Monster

    They gave the monster a name. Not fate. Not chance. Not something I did wrong. A name made of too many syllables and not enough mercy. For weeks, I carried guilt like it belonged to me, turning every memory over in my hands, searching for the moment I thought I had failed you. Then the…

    Read more →

  • Tiny Hands, Heavy Heart

    There are tiny hands that reach for me like I am the safest place in the world. And sometimes they don’t know how heavy my heart has been. They don’t know the battles I fought quietly. The nights I cried without making a sound. The pieces of myself I had to find again. They only…

    Read more →