Grief & Loss
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My beautiful girl, It has been years,and I still wonderwho you would have become. Would your laugh sound like mine?Would you have your brothers’ kindness?Would your little sistersfollow you from room to room,wanting to be just like you? I will never know. I only had a few precious hoursto memorize your face,your tiny fingers,the weight…
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There are names the wind remembers,Even when the world grows still.Some children stay in photographs,Some live beyond the hill. You were only ours for moments,Yet forever you’ll remain.Not only in our memories,But in our joy and pain. Your brothers and your sistersWill know your gentle light,Because love does not stop existingSimply because you’re out of…
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Originally written on December 1, 2015. Tonight,sleep refuses to find me. The house is quiet,except for the steady rhythmof my son’s breathingas he dreamswithout knowingI’m counting the hours. I watch Emerson,safe in his bed,and gratitude fills one half of my heart. The other halfstill belongs to you. I look at your photographsand wonderhow someone so…
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They gave the monster a name. Not fate. Not chance. Not something I did wrong. A name made of too many syllables and not enough mercy. For weeks, I carried guilt like it belonged to me, turning every memory over in my hands, searching for the moment I thought I had failed you. Then the…
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October seventeenth,a date forever carvedinto the deepest corners of my heart. A morning that began with hope,with anticipation,with the promise of meeting my daughter. The world was asleepwhen I woke to the rhythm of contractions,each wave reminding me: She is coming. I welcomed the pain,believing every moment would disappearthe second I held her. And then,at…
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There are tiny hands that reach for me like I am the safest place in the world. And sometimes they don’t know how heavy my heart has been. They don’t know the battles I fought quietly. The nights I cried without making a sound. The pieces of myself I had to find again. They only…
Between Bruises and Blooms 