Hope

  • Dear Theodore

    My sweet Theo, From the moment you came into this world,you carried sunshine with you. You have always had a wayof making people laugh,of turning ordinary daysinto adventures,and of reminding methat joy can still existeven after heartbreak. You arrivedwhen my heart was still learninghow to beat around grief. You didn’t replacethe sister we lost. No…

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  • Dear Emerson

    My sweet boy, I don’t know if you’ll ever understandhow much of my hearthas always belonged to you. You made me a motherbefore I knew what motherhood really meant.We learned together—through sleepless nights,sticky hands,cartoons playing before sunrise,and a thousand little momentsthat no photograph could ever hold. I’ve watched you growfrom the tiny boy who reached…

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  • It began with a can of MonsterI couldn’t finish. Then the Starbucks Double Shot energy drinksstayed full beside me, too. My body whisperedbefore my heart understood. So, the day before my period was due,I took a testin the middle of a workday,thinking, Maybe. Two lines. A thousand questions. I was scared.I was hopeful.I was carrying…

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  • One Day

    Maybe one day I won’t have to choose between relief and proving myself. Maybe one day healing won’t come with conditions. Maybe one day I’ll light a joint without wondering who might judge the smoke. Until then, I’ll keep choosing the future I’ve been fighting for— one clear morning at a time.

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  • I Hope You Wonder

    I hope you wonder if I’m thinking about you. I hope my name finds its way into your quiet moments, when the world finally stops asking so much of you. Because that’s where you find me. In the silence. In the songs. In the spaces between heartbeats where missing someone feels louder than words. If…

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  • Evidence

    They might test my blood. They’ll never test the nights I stayed awake rocking babies. They’ll never measure the panic attacks I survived sober. They’ll never weigh the meals I forced myself to eat, or the mornings I got out of bed when depression begged me not to. Sometimes being a good mother looks nothing…

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  • I never stopped loving you,Not through the silence,Not through the waiting,Not through the miles that weren’t measured in distance. Love isn’t always foundIn perfect timing.Sometimes it’s foundIn hope that refuses to fade. I dream of ordinary things—Coffee growing cold,Tiny hands reaching for us,A home filled with laughter instead of longing. Until then,I’ll keep believingThat broken…

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  • The Mother I Became

    They say a mother is born with her child,But mine was forged in storms. In hospital lights,In whispered prayers,In fear that stole my breath. She was bornWhen I chose courageEven while shaking. She was bornWhen exhaustion became routine,And love became instinct. She was bornHolding babies with one arm,And holding herself together with the other. I…

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  • The Quiet Trade

    I didn’t quit because I stopped needing it. I quit because tiny hands needed me more. There are nights when sleep still hides, when food still tastes like cardboard, when anxiety paces the hallway inside my mind. And sometimes I remember the little green flower that once taught my lungs how to breathe again. But…

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  • Two Heartbeats

    I carried two heartbeats beneath my own,Two tiny souls I’d never known.They danced in silence, side by side,Growing safely deep inside. One arrived with morning’s light,The other fought with all her might.A winding path, not as we’d planned,But love still held each little hand. Now laughter fills the quiet air,Tiny smiles beyond compare.The sleepless nights,…

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