Between Bruises & Blooms

That is the part
that still gets me.

You knew.

I wasn't screaming
into the ears
of someone
who believed himself
perfect.

You knew.

You heard
your own darkness
moving around
inside you.

You knew
there were pieces
of yourself
that frightened
even you.

You talked about
changing.

Sang about it.

Wrapped the idea
in music
and handed it
to me
like proof.

See?

I know.

I know
what's wrong with me.

And maybe
that knowledge
was what kept me
hoping.

Because surely
a man
who knows
he is drowning

will eventually
reach for shore.

Surely
someone
who can name
the fire

will stop
feeding it.

I waited.

God,
I waited.

Not because
I couldn't see
what was happening.

But because
you could see it too.

And I thought
that meant
you would choose
something different.

But knowing
you need to change

and changing

are not
the same miracle.

Sometimes
a person
can recognize
every monster
in the mirror

and still
invite them
to dinner.